I’ve got a question

I consider myself pretty normal.  With the exception of being in the top 1% of the countries best looking men of course.  Something struck me as a little wierd the other day when I went to use the rest room at work.  Before I proceed I would like to give what might be classified as TMI but that’s me.  I keep it real.  When I go to relieve myself I think I do what a majority of the people do.  I unzip and let her rip with the hands on the wheel so to speak.  Pretty standard wouldn’t you agree.  Sure you have the shy pee’rs that can’t use the urinals and have to go into a stall, piss all over the seat and leave but again for the most part, the unzip, grip and let her rip is pretty standard.  Your gaze is important too, usually looking forward, but looking down occasionally in the off chance the color aint right if you get my drift. 

Now on occassion I do see the unzip, hands free method.  Personally I find that a little creepy.  I mean, what the heck do you do with your hands?  put them in your pockets?  then what happens if you have to make a quick movement?  Totally screwed.  But if your eyes are straightforward you get a pass on the creep meter, slightly. 

On rarer occassion I see the completely unbotton, unbuckle, unzip guy.  Which I think is a little worse than the hands free method. I don’t want to see or have the chance to see your ass or underwear while you are whizzing.   Besides how the hell do your pants stay up? You have to hold them while you go?  That’s not relaxing and just too much to worry about and again where the eyes go makes any of the above styles more or less creepy in my opinion.   A guy one move away from being able to take his pants off frightens me a little.  Again, I’m not so maybe I get nervous more than others when I’m at my most vulnerable. 

Oh, and also all that being said I am not a pee talker either.  The occosaional, “Hey, how you doing” is ok, but conversing is a no, no.  I just don’t need my space being intruded during the time I am holding Mr. Charming. 

Now on to the real reason for this post.  We have 5 urinals with the little dividers in them at my office.  One guy in particular who I would have to say might be a little eccentric (wears a scarf during work hours)  likes to take the hands free method to another level.  He likes to take the middle stall, unzip and then proceed to put both elbows up on each divider.  If he picked his legs up i swear he could hang there.  Now here we have this going on, but at the same time his head is tilted back and he is looking up.  I’m not sure if his eyes are closed or not and at this point in the exercise I’m not sure if it matters that much.  He has pegged the creepometer at this point.  On occasion when you walk in he looks over his shoulder to see who it is, but he does not lower his arms.   The guy is just way to relaxed almost BJ type relaxed… for me to feel comfortable taking a stall even 10 feet away. 

So, the next time you are taking a whiz, remember this post and take a second to make sure you arne’t enjoying yourself a little too much.  Especially on Super Bowl Sunday.