Suggestions for Kids Looking for Something To Do
As you may have heard, the Christiana Mall is banning unaccompanied minors on Fridays and Saturdays. At first, I was annoyed by this move. But now I see it as a chance to impart wisdom, so here goes.
If you are a teenager that has been displaced from your favorite hangout, here are some suggestions for what you can do instead:
- Try Alcohol: It gets a bad rap from parents and schools, but it is less expensive than fries at the food court and man does it feel good. You can always steal some from your parents and just add water to the bottle to get it back to the proper level. Do not drive after drinking.
- Sex: It is even cheaper than alcohol and feels better. A few rules, “No” means no, but “I’m bored,” could be a come on. Wear some protection, because if you don’t, your kids will be annoyed at the Christiana mall in 14 years. If you have trouble obtaining sex, many have found that alcohol is an effective attractant.
- Smoking: You will look much cooler with a cigarette in your mouth. Chicks dig it and, frankly, the state could use the tax revenue. You can always stop later, the state has plenty of smoking cessation programs.
- Weed: I cannot personally vouch for the effectiveness of weed for anything, but many have found constructive uses for this self-medication. Just remember Abbie Hoffman‘s saying, “Never do needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.” And with Nixon gone, you are out of luck.
- Drag Racing: There is nothing like the feeling of punching the accelerator of your ’88 Celica and watching that ’86 Ford Tempo spin out in your rear-view mirror.
I am certain that our readers can come up with other fine activities that can occupy your time, so please offer suggestions and be sure to read the comments to discover the wisdom of our readers.
Tags: Satire
This is the most valuable public service message that this blog has ever produced.
In between drinking and having sex on the couch in your parents basement, buy all your clothes and sneakers online. Preferably from merchants who don’t have mall stores.
Here’s an oldie but goodie from Al Mascitti:
http://www.buynothing.biz/media/nj051129.html
You forgot cock-fighting, huffing paint fumes, and petty vandalism.
Let’s make it animal-fighting, that way dogs can be included, too.
I think petty arson should make the list. I got an immense amount of joy out of starting small fires as a youth. It teaches a valuable skill if you do it without gas or a lighter too. Take two sticks and rub them together for a great time!
Dog versus rooster? I’d pay to see that…
Or they could always get one of those jobs John McCain says Americans just won’t do, and thereby force an entire family of Mexicans to go back home. That way they can buy their own smokes, alcohol, and gas for the ’88 Celica. (My parents always hated it when I pestered them for beer money.)
Yeah, crab-picking jobs are always available. And an opportunity to learn Spanish from real, live Spanish-speakers.
Not for nothin’, but I think this is the best move the Christiana Mall has ever made. Friday nights are downright frightening at the mall. In fact, the employees refer to it as ‘freak night’.
hope they don’t do it at the Concord mall too
I already had a party at my house this past weekend while I was Out of Town that knocked out yoiur top 4 suggestions…
DV, I bet if you checked your odometer you’d find they crossed off #5 as well.
No drag racing, donviti? Your kids are quitters…
Cute post but…Christiana Mall is not a community center, this is their decision to make, to keep themselves operating as the business that they are.
If parents were that concerned about what their kids were up to, they wouldn’t leave them at the mall. And if they raised them to realize there were other things to do, it would be less of a problem as well.
I already had a party at my house this past weekend while I was Out of Town that knocked out yoiur top 4 suggestions…
So tell Mrs. Viti to be more respectful, then! The nerve of some spouses! Sheesh!
Seriously, tho…I can see the future litigation when someone is in trouble for taking your satire literally: “…I got the idea from delawareliberal.net”
Geek’s response to the eventual lawsuit: “I didn’t write it. Someone in my driveway hacked my wireless router.”
OK, Liz. Please tell me another free thing to do on Friday night? I was a teenager here and it was extremely difficult to find a place to go where you weren’t going to blow all of your wages from the PT job.
A freakin’ movie costs $10 to get in the door.
The post is clearly labeled “satire.”
Liz –
1st paragraph – yes, you are correct.
2nd paragraph – like what? Bowling (yeah, with the open beer – it’s easier for kids today, believe me), movies ($$$$), then what? Maybe they can cruise Main St in Newark? Nah.
What Geek is attempting to point out, or so I think, is that this is a freaking awful area for kids/young adults in the wedge ages of 14-20. While the mall really has no onus on them to provide for them (or anyone), it effectively eliminates what little there was in terms of options.
The post is clearly labeled “satire.”
Tell it to the judge, Charlie (Manson).
😀
Suggestion (snarkily suggested, of course)…you should label it satire and don’t sue me for your idiocy, freak
Geez, you guys are leaving out the healthy outside alternatives of graffitti on any one of the numerous old railroad bridges out in the Route 52 area, or enjoying the crisp waters of Hoopes Resevoir after-hours!! The mall should only be a rainy day alternative….
SATIRE ONLY DISCLAIMER!!!!
SATIRE ONLY DISCLAIMER!!!!!
Welcome back, Joanne. Nice snark, too.
Some of us like graffiti, Joanne.
Movies may be $10, but kids are now making close to $10/hr at their pt jobs.
Mat and his friends don’t hang out at the mall. Sometimes they go to Barnes & Noble or Borders. Sometimes they hang out here and watch movies (Jack and I are essentially banished to our room when that happens). Sometimes they go to parties when someone’s poor, unsuspecting parents are out of town. They don’t carry on like white trash in public places, though. There’s no need for that.
Y’know what? Not to sound like a crotchety old bitch (as if there’s any other choice), but who cares if there’s nothing for them to do on the weekends? What did we do when we were growing up? I certainly wasn’t swinging from the rafters at the mall. We cruised Main Street with the rest of the losers and we loved it.
At least they have the internet and 573 television channels to choose from. They can suck it up until they’re 18 and they go off to college. They’ll have plenty of fun stuff to do while they’re there.
See? She would have been a very fun Senator, too! You all just don’t know what you got sometimes.
Oh well, I guess we can all go shopping on Friday nights again and feel safe. (slaps head in befuddlement)
Grex,
no car was taken, we had taken the keys with us, thankfully. The kids were surprised by the realtor that stopped to show the house the next morning.
apparently they scattered like cockroaches…
We cruised Main Street with the rest of the losers and we loved it.
If you mean by car, you have some homework to catch up on.
On the positive side, you can get all your Goth gear on clearance next week.
other things to do:
cruise the valley
hang out at 7/11 and make fun of the cashier
F around on the golf courses,Porky’s or 3 LB’s specifically sands (while doing 1, 2 0r 3 is awesome too)
Drive to Pulsations
Sneak into movies
Someone here is still very intouch with his teenage self.
I’m not saying who.
Drive to Pulsations
Isn’t that loooonggg gone?
Sheesh, DV, that list is straight out of my highschool years. It sucked then, too.
Are they not allowed to do that anymore? I’m kind of out of the teenage loop. They could always walk Main Street. I know that’s a crazy concept for most of them (including my son) who sit at their computers so long that atrophy begins to set in, but it’s an option. During the winter months, there are school dances, football games, etc.
I’m not saying it’s as entertaining as the Logan House, but we all went through it and it makes turning 21 that much more spectacular.
All I know is that they were completely out of control at the mall. If they could have managed to behave better than a bunch of 4-year olds hopped up on Hawaiian Punch and sugar cookies, the mall wouldn’t have had to take this step. The retailers are there to make money, not to babysit a bunch of bored teenagers.
‘Drive to Pulsations’ made me giggle.
Pulsations? LOL! I haven’t thought of that place in years. Thanks for taking me back, DV!
DV still has his Z. Cavaricci’s in storage!
DV still has his Z. Cavaricci’s in storage!
Don’t mess with the Z’s!!!
Crap, I admitted that, too.
Donna’s middle class tunnel vision…
‘gee, everyone lives just like I do don’t they?’
get out once in a while. volunteer in a downtown community center mebbe. the other side’d have greener grass if they had a lawn.
I used to be able to walk to the Christiana Mall as a kid, since I lived off of Airport Rd. We would head there once a week or so, to hang out and play arcade games, but we spent most of our time playing in the woods, fishing/swimming in the dank Christina, or playing all kinds of sports (baseball, basketball, shooting each other with our bb-guns). The 7-11 was a decent hang-out too. Yoohoo and Chocodiles, and buying a pouch of Beach-nut Wintergreen at the age of 12! Those were the days, my friends!
The kids don’t need the mall….old people do – nice central air and a safe place to walk…..
Never had a pair of Zs (proud to say); my old man would’ve made fun of me….
I suppose Don V’s kids could always hang out on Jason’s deck…can’t believe Smitty let that one get by!
Oh, and I never owned Z Cavariccis, but I did once have a pair of Britannias. Can’t remember why, tho.
When we were middle school we had the run of the Shellpot Creek. One of the coolest things was to get out onto Foulk Road in the middle of the night and dance around under the lights or on Saturdays, walk up to Mitchell’s to buy the latest 45.
The owner of the Talley farm (now the Brandywine Library Branch) would shoot us with salt pellets when we went on his property.
We’d hit the Concord Mall to hang. The Mall has always been where teens go to meet other teens and hook up with kids outside of your neighborhood.
Every girl (but me) in my crowd in Winsor Hills had a mom who carted them over to the valley to ride their horse. They borded at Doc Talley’s or Rugan’s stables and by the time we were 15, they were dating the “available” 25 year old guys who hung out at Smith’s and Thompson’s.
The upper parking lot of the Brandywine State Park would be full of fast cars and vans and all the drugs and booze imaginable. Dazed And Confused but we all made it out of the seventies alive.
That’s a good point, Nancy. Playing in the creek or BB guns are fine, but they aren’t a good way of meeting people of the opposite sex. Explains a lot about VC, though. 😉
I seem to have vivid memories of Von Cracker’s childhood. As I recall he checked his puppies heart as the jolly old family doctor checked his and he was shooed away from the “No Swimming” hole with his pants half down.
Yes J, Rockwell-esque.
Right! And a caveat, there were never any heavy addictive drugs around, thank goodness, and we didn’t start into it until around 15 or so. weed in every form from opiated hash (rare but shit you laugh and laugh and laugh), to Thai sticks to Columbian Gold.
I will say that there were a g0od number of alcoholics among the uppery middle class parents that surrounded me.
Nancy – You love me. You want to be me. You’re completely obsessed with me. You seek me out just so you can get my attention. Just own it. You’ll feel so much better once you do.
Jam’s and a Sim’s Lester skateboard
ahhh, those were the days…
I forgot trolling fairfax shopping center
Gross. Get a clue weirdo.
Drat that stupid editing function…
Dom. I call out assholes, just ask Paul Clark. If you don’t want to be called out, don’t say idiotic things like:
“Movies may be $10, but kids are now making close to $10/hr at their pt jobs. ”
“but who cares if there’s nothing for them to do on the weekends? ”
And “At least they have the internet and 573 television channels to choose from. They can suck it up until they’re 18 and they go off to college.”
There are vast worlds above and below this level of existence. Sorry for your lack of experience or curiousity or whatever it is that has created your small mental frame of mind.
she supports hillary, what do you expect.
most likely walked up hill to school in the snow, with cardboard shoes and dried spaghetti for a snack
Oh Nancy-I think our paths may have crossed–Windsor Hills? Foulk Road? How about Lane and Silverside pool parties? Pappy’s on Concord Pike (it was open the latest)–Springer Junior High field by Shellpot Creek? Smokin’ punks because I believed EVERYTHING they told me bout Art Linkletter’s daughter—and PULSATIONS???? whaaaattt? I STILL HAVE my “Electric Gramaphone ” I.D!!!
last year i was at the mall every friday night
pretty much never bought anything just hung out
and met new people who i knew would be there
the next friday too.
yeah teens definitely still walk main st friday and saturday
and i can say 1-4 everyones doing too
i guess none of you older people realized that
1. teens were having sex right outside of christiana mall (in the bushes and what-not)
*also in the dressing rooms.
2. teens were bringing in alcohol to christiana mall
(vodka in water bottles. never heard of that?)
3. teens could smoke right outside of the mall
b/c your aloud to smoke just not buy.
4. most would smoke weed BEFORE they got to the mall
so find some better stuff for us to do please.
its all already happening.
oh but the drag racing, eh thats boring.
“i guess none of you older people realized that…”
Thanks for stopping by, little missy, but you’re forgetting that us older people have pretty much been there and done that, but that we were better at it. Like, when you’re high as a freakin’ kite and some old lady looks at you funny, you would giggle and try to act straight, not yell, “What ‘da f*@k do you think you’re lookin’ at, you old bitch!” That’s why they’re kicking the kids out of the mall, cause they weren’t cool enough about it.
Nancy –
You must be calling yourself out daily, then.
If you ever crawled out of your cage and visited the Christiana Mall on a Friday night, you’d know that the kids who are hanging out there are hardly poverty stricken. They’re wearing the latest trends and texting each other left and right and driving cars nicer than anything I could dream of owning.
Don’t talk down to me about poverty, you stupid cow. You may think you have a full picture of me based on comments on a blog, but that’s just further proof of how big an idiot you are. You have no idea what my experience has been. Wake up and get a clue, asshat. You know so much less than you think you do.
There, Nancy, why don’t you find a nice activity for sweet Mitchie? I can’t imagine how he scraped together enough money to buy a computer.
You forgot Turfing but with the price of gas i guess that one is off the table
so find some better stuff for us to do please.
its all already happening.
Have you considered joining the army and helping spread freedom and democracy?
Good one, TT.
Bitchen’ Camaro, bitchen’ Camaro, doughnuts on your lawn,
Bitchen’ Camaro bitchen’ Camaro, Tony Orlando and Dawn!
mitchie,
thanks for visiting, but let’s be honest you guys haven’t done anything we haven’t done. Go to a wing nut site if you want to impress someone with your wild and crazy stories
Ah… children. They’ve “invented” everything. Too cute!
What’s that tired old saying: Youth is wasted on the young…..
This on going situation is another failing of the riverfront development in Wilm…..every opportunity to create venue after venue for young and old….no movie, ice skating, Washington Sq. park, no speaker’s corner, no french fries, no video arcade, no out door music area, no place to dance,no way to celebrate our diversity….not a dag damn thing for Delawareans….unless you consider having the money to afford dinner at Harry’s once a year.
It’s an election year: vote the encumbents out and let’s see what some newbies can do for the people…young and old.
DHB – I, for one, have not had sex in the bushes or the dressing rooms at the mall. Eww.
oooooooooh ohohoho. listen Dom. Address the question about the comments that were called out and we’ll talk.
You might convince me you have a clue but I strongly doubt it.
Joanne, yup FIELD PARTY Friday nights behind Springer. What great and perfect times we had. I remember a group of parents eventually took up flashlights and routed us out of the woods.
I got my first weed buzz in Springer woods at a field party. :-). And Pool Parties! How about the Side Door up at the JCC on Concord Pike? Now that was a fab teen destination. A small cover and a live band every week. Or the Wilmington Skating Rink. That is still around.
Dear god, Nancy. Have all those drugs you love to brag about having done completely destroyed your ability to follow along?
Here’s what you posted:
‘“Movies may be $10, but kids are now making close to $10/hr at their pt jobs. ”
“but who cares if there’s nothing for them to do on the weekends? ”
And “At least they have the internet and 573 television channels to choose from. They can suck it up until they’re 18 and they go off to college.”
There are vast worlds above and below this level of existence. Sorry for your lack of experience or curiousity or whatever it is that has created your small mental frame of mind.’
Although your posts are generally incoherent drivel that take a few readings to fully understand, you seemed to infer that I have a narrow view of the teenage socio-economic situation.
Now, see if you can follow along…
The post is about teenagers that hang out in the Christiana Mall. In response to your desperate attempt to bash me (again…yawn), I offered:
‘If you ever crawled out of your cage and visited the Christiana Mall on a Friday night, you’d know that the kids who are hanging out there are hardly poverty stricken. They’re wearing the latest trends and texting each other left and right and driving cars nicer than anything I could dream of owning.’
Now, I know I’m not as super-smart and highly educated as you, but that was me ‘addressing the question about the comments that were called out’. Of course, I’m inferring that those are the comments in question. Given your propensity to exaggerate and/or distort information, you could very well be referring to comments that appeared elsewhere or even just in your feeble mind.
You really are very taxing at times. Sometimes I don’t know why I even try to school you; it’s like trying to tame a feral cat.
Snore.
………..I thought the “Naughty Chair” post was available for those who wanted to duke it out on one subject or another.
Dominique & Nancy check it out…..