Insert Robot voice

I am the translator masheen that Donsqyuishy has hired to tran-sa-late stories in the Lib-er-al-me-di-a.  This is my first translaceshun:

The White House was moving closer yesterday to a dramatic restructuring of the nation’s ailing automakers, deliberating among several options including an “orderly” bankruptcy in return for an emergency government infusion of billions of dollars.

Insert beeping and mechanical noises and then a whirling…now a whizziing…fast popping noise…
and steam valve noise:

translaceshun: bye-bye you blue collar fucks. you are worthless. bye-bye to that pension you thought you had. haha hoho hehe. welcome to the free market.