Ask Dr. Liberal
A reader writes in:
Dear Dr. Liberal.
I gave my boss, who I like and respect, an expensive little lacquer box that I got on vacation. She said she loved it and made a big fuss when I gave it to here, but when I was back in her office later that day, my jaw dropped when I saw she had it on her desk holding paperclips.
It has been there for a while now and every-time I see it, it burns me up a little bit. What should I do? Should I say something? At times I’m mad at her, and at times Im mad at my self for letting this eat at me.
Signed,
Conflicted in Camden
Dear Conflicted,
You should be the focus of your anger. Try punching or kicking yourself. I mean jeez, I’m about to lose my bedside manner with this one.
WTF were you thinking giving your female boss a gift. (I assume you are a woman as well, because if you are a man – you’ll have to stab yourself in addition to punching yourself.) Bosses don’t want gifts, they want you to work harder. They also want you to not be a nut, which is what you are being. That is the greatest gift you can give your boss.
Here is another tip for life. Once you give a gift, to anybody, LET IT GO. Anybody who keeps track of what another person does with a gift is asking for heart ache. I could go on, but beating up on you this early in the morning might throw my karma off for the whole day.
Charitably yours,
Dr. Liberal
I think the last thing I need is another little box. How much stuff can you put in it? Are you just supposed to display it and look at it?
Why do I have the feeling someone gave Jason a little lacquer box, then Jason put paper clips in it, then the gift-giver got a ‘tude about the whole thing.
Reis,
Nobody likes me enough to give me a lacquer box, but if they did I am sure I would thoughtlessly use it for paperclips or maybe for some even more base commodity like pennies.
Shoot. I think Jason was the gift-giver and “the boss” is Mrs. Jason.
No, Smitty. If it was Mrs. Jason, she would have said, “build a deck around it now”.
I gave up on him building that deck. He’s waiting for a bailout to fund it.
I agree with Dr. Liberal that once you give someone a gift it’s theirs to use how they want.
This may have been a classic case of ‘brown nosing’ that didn’t work out for the gift giver.
My advice: Stick to apples….if they’re good enough for teachers they’re good enough for a ‘boss’. That and what UI said in #7.
I don’t understand what’s so offensive about using this gift for paper clips. It’s on the woman’s desk! She keeps it in a place where she can look at it daily and it is useful. Obviously she appreciates it. If “Conflicted” had seen it in a trash can or at the Goodwill store I could understand annoyance. But “Conflicted” needs to take a chill pill.
Just label it “Ashes of Problem Employees.”
Just label it “Ashes of Problem
Employees.”That should read …Problem Husbands (who don’t build my mother effing deck!)
I’m telling you, it was his anniversary gift to her. I think he got it engraved at Things to Remember.