Ask Dr. Liberal

Dear Dr. Liberal,

When should I cut back my ornamental grasses?

Homeowner in Hockessin

Dear Homie,

Since you are asking me now, I take it you didn’t cut back your grasses when all your neighbors did back in September. And you can feel good about yourself because you were right and they were wrong. Unlike your a-hole Republican next door neighbors, you realize that part of the beauty of ornamental grasses is their attractiveness in a winter garden. You’ve enjoyed the seed stalks and foliage while they simmered and festered over “socialism” all winter looking at ragged humps where the ornamental grass used to be.

Cut it now though to prevent damage to the emerging leaves. Incidentally, I find tying the whole grass up with a bunch of twine then cutting it with a hedge trimmer to be a good way to get a clean cut while leaving yourself with a manageable bundle for disposal.

Happy Liberal Gardening.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dear Dr. Liberal,

Who would you rather have sex with, Lady Gaga or the 1981 Farrah Fawcett?

Dale in Dagsboro

Dear Dag,

First of all, Dr. Liberal does not go in for this kind of objectification of women. Especially the kind of lazy objectification
that upholds the narrow range of acceptable female beauty embodied by the “American Corporate Standard Beauty Bell Curve” (c) Dr. Liberal 2009. Secondly, Lady Gaga.

Sincerely,

Dr. Liberal.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Face it. You are adrift. Shoot your hippie grappling hooks onto my decks and board the Japanese whale ship of my knowledge by sending me your quieries in care of Liberalgeek(at)delawareliberal.com

Until then, the Doctor is Out!!