Top Ten Reasons Terrorist Have (so far) Failed to Kill Tony DeLuca
10. Dr. Emmett Brown kept the plutoniom for his time machine.
9. The box cutters were supposed to be in the drawer next to the tin foil. (Who moved them?)
8. DeLuca continues to not travel to Iraq or Afghanistan.
7. In fighting between the Red Brigade and the IRA about who gets the credit.
6. The FBI’s clever “Tony DeLuca who?” strategy of misdirection.
5. Terrorist flomoxed by the “Be back in 1/2 hour” sign on DeLuca’s door.
4. Terrorist still don’t know abut the secret tunnel connecting DeLuca’s house to Hardees.
3. DeLuca murder plot really just an elaborate ruse to get into Nakatomi Towers
2. DeLuca never works at any one of his three jobs for longer than 15 minutes.
The number 1 reason terroists have (so far) failed to kill Tony DeLuca…
Terrorist aren’t trying to kill Tony DeLuca.
#11 Deluca is a popular name and they got the wrong guy
#12 He was way down on their list of crooked whites guys that hate muslims
#13 Delaware has so many more people worth knocking off
#14 — Tiny Tony *is* the terrorist!
#15 Terrorists got off the bus in Wilmington, North Carolina
#16 Terrorists still researching infidel culture in Vegas
#17 Terrorists FOIA request denied
#18 DeLuca cut deal to impose sharia law
#19 Somebody warned DeLuca “Whoever comes to you with this meeting, he’s the traitor.”
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20. Terrorists got lost in Newark, trying to avoid the I95 toll. Last sighting–Hooter’s.
21. Terrorists spent two weeks in Legislative Hall sleeping through Joint Finance Committee hearings.
22. Mike Protack’s router misdirected them to Jason O’Neill’s house.
23- The “terrorists” [read progressive bloggers] have been rounded up by a crack anti-terror squad lead by Beau “Baby Bull Conner” Biden and are being held in a secret prison in Gumboro staffed by TEA PARTY PATRIOTS.
24. Terrorists currently pursuing an unwitting DeLuca in slow-speed chase in beach traffic.
25. Terrorists waiting for shipment from Acme Novelty Company.
26. Terrorists mistakenly took Six Sigma black belt training and are still trying to work out success criteria for the DeLuca project.
puck-24+25 are great. 26 confuses me.
But I’m easily confused.
You funny bastards crack me up.
27. Terrorists posting jokes on blogs all day; not getting any work done
28-Tiny Tony succumbs to “Stockholm Syndrome”,joins terrorists.
His nom de guerre: The BIG HEAD or Le Gross Tete
Heehee #26
29. DeLuca’s adamantium skeleton makes him hard to kill.