Top Ten Cost-Cutting Measures Revealed!

Filed in National by on July 13, 2011

It’s time to figure out how we are going to make ends meet in case we don’t have a debt ceiling increase by August 2nd. Since it is unlikely that we wouldn’t pay the interest on our debt, we need to come up with about a 50% reduction in spending on everything else.  I’m thinking that if all of my list were enacted, we would be just about there.

Top 10 ways the government can save money in the event of the no debt ceiling deal

10. Freedom Fries in Congressional cafeteria served raw
9. Encourage seniors to switch to generic brand cat food
8. Outsource Congressional staffer jobs to Indian H1B workers
7. Soldiers to buy their own bullets like teachers buy their own supplies
6. Strategic oil supply to be secretly replaced with Folgers crystals
5. Congresscritters that sleep in their offices are billed for their stay
4. CIA replaced by Pakistani intelligence agency
3. Federal corn subsidies to be paid with Treasury bonds
2. War on Drugs outsourced to highly effective Mexican Fedarales
1. 1% of Federal budget to be spent making jobs wishes at wishing wells

Any more ideas (ya know, in case some of mine aren’t adopted)?

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  1. Laywer330 says:

    This blog is hereby instructed to immediately cease and desist disparaging and infringing on the copyright of Generic Brand Cat Food, or face legal action.

    Signed, Lawyer300 On behalf of the American Association of Generic Brand Cat Food Manufacturers

  2. liberalgeek says:

    Here’s another: Congressional Medal of Honor to be replaced by Congressional Plastic Disk of Honor.

  3. puck says:

    Downgrade to $150 pinot noir.

    Cancel voicemail services; check with Rupert Murdoch instead.

  4. Jason330 says:

    Instead of sending artillery units, tweet pictures of Boehner’s johnson to the front.

  5. puck says:

    Congressmen start sleeping with their own wives for free.

  6. Rusty Dils says:

    Not directly related to cutting the deficit, But Barrack Obama could stop trying to raise the one billion dollars from donars he is expected to raise for a failed re election attempt. That would at least keep all those people who contribute from waisting one billion dollars of their own money. And Barrack Obama is not going to get re elected, so the money is waisted anyway. No benefit from it what so ever.