DL Open Thread Sunday, April 11, 2021

We all know that Matt Gaetz like to fuck 17-year-olds, but did you know that his real job is fucking the public? It seems the sex scandal is somehow related to a scheme to pay people to enter races to siphon off Democratic votes, one of which actually made a difference in getting a Republican elected to Congress.

The Last Guy™ gave a speech to his assembled ass-lickers last night and predictably reprised his greatest hits, whining and tossing schoolyard insults as if they were rolls of paper towels. Headlines focused on him calling Mitch McConnell a “dumb son of a bitch.” On that, he’s half right, which is way above his usual average.

Ron DeSantis is governor of Florida, which makes his Florida Man in Chief. Now he’s angling for a presidential run, claiming he represents “competent Trumpism.” He’s half right, which is way above his usual average.

Have you ever noticed that when Delaware politicians face a situation they don’t want to either enact or dismiss, their go-to response is always a “blue-ribbon commission” to study it to death? Then you shouldn’t be surprised that Joe Biden, who’s not eager to pack the Supreme Court to undo GOP fuckery, has named a blue-ribbon commission to study the issue, meaning no new justices for SCOTUS.

The Derek Chauvin trial continues, and while Americans who care about police reform are invested in the outcome, the real problem here is that Chauvin acted exactly as police-violence training taught him.

The floor’s yours.