DL Open Thread: Friday, December 31, 2021

The Butthole Searchers.  No, not these guys. (Memo to self: Everybody knew you were gonna do that. You have become too predictable.  You must adjust the formula for 2022. Perhaps a reintroduction of   psychedelics might be in order?)  Yes, there are fissures amongst the anal historians.  There are the origanalists, and those who believe that you indeed ate where you pooped. The oral orificial oracles?  The, um, bottom line, nobody knows where butts come from:

The appearance of the anus was momentous in animal evolution, turning a one-hole digestive sac into an open-ended tunnel. Creatures with an anus could physically segregate the acts of eating and defecating, reducing the risk of sullying a snack with scat; they no longer had to finish processing one meal before ingesting another, allowing their tubelike body to harvest more energy and balloon in size.

But anuses are also shrouded in scientific intrigue, and a fair bit of squabbling. Researchers still hotly debate how and when exactly the anus first arose, and the number of times the orifice was acquired or lost across different species. To tap into our origins, we’ll need to take a squarer look at our ends.

Ya gotta read this article.  The author is both informative and very funny.  To paraphrase one of our writers here, she really can grasp the meaning of her butt with both hands.  If you’ve used up your Atlantic freebies this month, either subscribe (I do) or wait until tomorrow when (presumably) you’ll be able to freeload judiciously.

There’s, however, one thing upon which all proctologists agree:  All butts are Super-Funky. But Chic. That’s why they’re proctologists:

Carney Announces ‘Omicron Is Coming’.  He’s always been ahead of the curve.  Announced in 2002 that the Y2K Bug was imminent.

Seaford Backtracks On Neanderthal ‘Fetal Remains’ Ordinance.  I can’t resist quoting from Seaford’s Imbecile/Mayor:

Mayor David Genshaw, who spearheaded the ordinance that was crafted from Indiana law, believes the council took the right path in taking stay.

“Again, I think under the guidance of Mr. Griffith (who was totally wrong on his initial legal advice) , we’re following his lead again (doing a 180) to be good partners with our state. We certainly don’t want to be antagonistic to our state. We want to work with them. This stay allows them time to speak on this matter,” said Mayor Genshaw.  (They already have. Told Seaford that what they were doing was unconstitutional.)

He said that when council started this process, Delaware law “was not clear on this matter (in our addled minds), so we saw a legal pathway.” They found what Indiana had done prior, which was upheld by the Supreme Court, he said.

“We presented that. The state then said, ‘Don’t do this. We’d like to talk to you about it.’ So, we tabled I think in good faith,” he continued. “We reached out to the state to have those conversations. Those never happened. We waited practically 60 days to bring it back. The state made a threatening letter five hours before our meeting. So, we’re right back to the same spot that again.”

Genshaw is proof that the citizens of Seaford get the government they deserve.

What do you want to talk about?