Oregon Odds ‘N Ends

Needed to get these vacation thoughts out of my head so that I can return to (Memo To Self: Find a therapist) the harsh reality of Delaware politics:

1.  The Buick Envision is a suck-ass car.  Keyless ignition, which is un-American (more on that later);  A series of sounds that you would need to memorize the manual to understand; a panoramic dashboard that is distracting–replete with a warning to not take your eyes off the road, which would seem to argue for a less distracting dashboard;  an annoying shifter that never works the first time: a seat-belt alarm that goes off before your butt hits the seat; impossible-to-find essential features like the hand brake. The entire car is manufactured in, wait for it, China.  As to that keyless ignition–I loaded the suitcases in the car for the trip to the airport around 4 am on Sunday, my wife drove and, following the mandatory rent-a-car fill-up, got there around 4:40.  We breezed right through TSA pre-check (apparently nobody there has read what I post here), got to the metal detectors, and I realized that the car keys were still in my pocket because, you know, I opened the car to load it, never thought twice about it because my wife was driving. Because of the fucking keyless ignition. Cost me $65 bucks to overnight it back to Hertz.

2.  Bend is a really cool city.  An oasis of progressivism in a desert of Trump-Vance signs that line the roadway the last 100 miles or so of farm and ranch into town.  A great amphitheatre where we saw Orville Peck, who has a large cult following.  Many of them came decked out in masks and western finery.  He’s coming to Philly later this month.  If you get the chance to go, by all means go.  An unforgettable performer.

3. Oregonians love breakfast, and there are loads of places there to get a great breakfast.  You can have a really great fast breakfast at Cheryl’s in Portland (complimentary beignets!), and a really great slow breakfast at the Lemon Tree in Bend (be sure to enjoy a very generous Blood Orange Mimosa at the latter).

4. Weather was perfect almost the entire trip.  The rainy season hadn’t started yet, likely making for powerful age-worthy pinots.  So, we took the alternate route back from Bend to Portland (Rt. 20) through the Cascades and the Willamette Forest District.  You’re not likely to find a more beautiful drive.

5.  Hit up Powell’s Books, and I read three real good ones while on vacation: ‘Devil In A Blue Dress’ by Walter Mosley (about bleeping time I got around to that one); ‘Small Mercies’ by Dennis Lehane; and I rolled the dice on this debut novel, and came up a big winner.  Laugh-out-loud funny in spots, great musical references, and some fascinating low-life characters.   Also gotta love the author’s bio:

J.D. O’Brien was educated by nuns and holds a degree from the Jack Dempsey Bartending School in New York City. He edited the comedy zine Flop Sweat and his writing has appeared in Arthur Magazine, Dazed and Confused, McSweeney’s, and elsewhere. His essay on Chevy Chase was anthologized in The Lowbrow Reader Reader, published by Drag City Books. He has worked as a bartender, cold caller, dishwasher, and Strand Bookstore employee. After stints in New York City, Los Angeles, and Portland, Oregon, he returned to his home of western Massachusetts. He has a dog named Lefty.

Can’t wait to read whatever he comes up with next.

OK.  All unpacked.  Back to my usual drivel, starting tomorrow.