(Neck-)Breaking News: Rasslin’ Invades the Political Arena!
Both locally (oh, yeah, I’ve got pictures) and nationally!
This is so cool that I’m fighting the urge to lapse back into the Third Person to tell this story.
You may have read that perennial Rethug hack and aparatchik Ron Poliquin has thrown his hat into the ring for the 31st RD seat currently held by Rep. Daryl Scott.
You may not know that “The Honorable” RGP throws his spandex-encased frame around the wrestling ring as well. This is really him as only patrons of the Dynamite Championship Wrestling circuit know him:
“THE HONORABLE”
If elected, Poliquin could become the first Delaware public official to have shared a bill with Women’s Oil Wrestling and taken part in an event featuring “VIP Couch Seating With a Personal Waitress” for $20. Seriously. It’s in the article. Ladies and Gentlemen: Your Republican Family Values Candidate. Although, to his credit, he keeps his unibrow neatly-trimmed (he’s a lawyer, after all).
When not confusing wristlocks with wristwatches (Shoutout to Classy Freddie Blassie), Poliquin represents Rethug Family Values in the courtroom. In this case, the values of Mark Schaeffer and Family, as chronicled by Ron Williams:
One of his revolving-door personal Republican lawyers, Ron Poliquin, insists that it was perfectly acceptable for Schaeffer to hand out absentee ballots prior to last week’s town election because it’s “common practice in Smyrna,” and therefore perfectly legal. This is because the “Township Manager gave Mr. Schaeffer the ballots to deliver on its behalf.” (We have Delaware townships now?)
I will not belabor the obvious. Suffice it to say that I’m looking forward to mining a year’s worth of comedic gold from this story.
And nothing says comedic gold quite like having a McMahon (from the WWE ‘roid-circus McMahons) running for the US Senate from Connecticut.
After spending about 6 minutes on the Connecticut Board of Education, a nomination that was forced through by Gov. Jodi Rell, Linda McMahon, wife of batshit-crazy Vince McMahon, has decided that she will run for the seat currently held by Chris Dodd. While Dodd is certainly a vulnerable incumbent, the retiring CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment might just have some family values issues of her own to deal with. Here’s just one of the classy story lines that WWE trotted out for its ‘family-friendly’ audience under her stewardship. From Global Oneness:
According to the storyline, Triple H came forward with information about an unrequited relationship Kane had with a young woman named Katie Vick. Shortly after Katie refused to pursue the relationship, she died in a car accident. Kane, who was the driver, then allegedly raped her corpse. Triple H later made good on threats to show footage of Kane completing his “crimes.” However, the footage clearly showed Triple H (dressed as Kane) simulating necrophilia with a female mannequin. Numerous TV viewers, already disgusted with the storyline, were outraged at what they saw.
And did I mention that Triple H is/was Linda McMahon’s son-in-law in real life? Did I mention the ‘feud’ she had with Vince on TV about her daughter’s storyline ‘abduction’? Or the Linda ‘nervous breakdown’ storyline in 2000 (Vince was calling himself the ‘Genetic Jackhammer’ at the time as Linda, in the storyline, wanted another baby but Vince didn’t, at least, not with her)? Or the onscreen ‘affair’ Vince had with Trish Stratus while his wife was allegedly comatose in the sanitarium following her breakdown?
Oh, and what could possibly define family values more profoundly than the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club?:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4JcuCu4r18[/youtube]
I would personally like to thank Ron Poliquin and Linda McMahon for giving me the gift that will keep on giving. I thank both of you for opening yourselves up to extensive public ridicule. I will do my best to not let you down.
Tags: Dynamite Championship Wrestling, Linda McMahon, Local Politics, National Politics, Ron Poliquin
2010 may turn out to be an interesting year. I’m sure Dodd is smiling now and Rob Simmons is shaking in his boots. Linda McMahon is very rich, so she’ll be a contender in the Republican primary, no doubt about it.
I wonder why Republicans are so proud of this recruit for the 31st RD?
The number of workers filing for unemployment benefits fell last week to the lowest level since early July, evidence that job cuts are slowing, as housing starts continued to rebound.
After yesterday, the stock market now at highest level in over a year.
Manufacturing and productivity up.
Inventories down.
CC way up.
The good economic news is piling up.
all elections are primarily about the economy, which has now begun its recovery due to aggressive action.
I remember tuning in to Ron’s blog a few years back. Can’t remember the name and it would be rude to mention it now, wouldn’t it, since he wrote it under a pseudonym.
Funny stuff, Bulo. 🙂
anon on 17 September 2009 at 9:00 am
*
your enthusiasm is not founded in a very firm footing. Too early for the glee club, IMO.
Linda McMahon Now Running As Republican for Senate Donated to The DNC!
Political Lore ^
“As for Linda McMahon, conservatives may find her political donation record more than troubling. She donated an astounding $15,000 to the Democratic National Campaign Committee between the years of 2006-2007. She also has donated $7,800 to Rahm Emanuel
Hmmmm sounds more like a democrat publicity stunt than a serios Republican candidate. Rahm is up to his usual dirty tricks.
I can’t believe that “The Honorable GRP” is running for office…I hope he runs an event as a campaign fundraiser so we can see him in action.
This is what elected office has become…entertainment. There are serious issues facing our communities and I hope we have a choice in the matter. I hate primaries, but in this case..I hope someone in the 31st challenges this “wrestler” to a “cage match” on Primary Day.
and what makes me the happiest…I don’t live in the 31st but I do live in Delaware so having him in the General Assembly will be bad enough…Having him as a candidate makes a Nancy Wagner comeback look good.
RICO, here’s the entire list of the family contributions:
http://www.opensecrets.org/news/2009/09/wwe-chief-executive-linda-mcma.html
Clearly not a stalking horse for Rahm, although she hasn’t aligned herself with the right-wingers either. That primary is gonna be lots of fun.
Y’all laugh, but the McMahons have an attraction to a large segment of the population that will believe anything you tell them and will follow blindly.. a demographic politicians desire.
They have an endless supply of money, organization, and manpower. They could be a very formidable opponent.
Whatcha gonna do, brother, when the Hulkster goes stumping the campaign trail for you?
It reminds me of Idiocracy, where a man of average intelligence is Rip van Winkled for some period of time and wakes up to the lunatics running the asylum. The President is a wrestler and he addresses a joint session of Congress with all of the glory of a wrestling introduction.
Isn’t Smyrna known for corrupt politicians? Absentee ballots is the least of the worries up there. I thought town council members were charged a few years ago with accepting bribes for votes on developments.
The President is a wrestler and he addresses a joint session of Congress with all of the glory of a wrestling introduction.
Ha! Break out Mean Jean Okerland to interview the senator for the Minority Party response, and then the President comes running into the speech, interrupting and bodyslams the speaker. Then the bell rings… lmao
Ok, I like this storyline now.
Healthcare will be decided with a cage match. While the refs are occupied by a woman claiming to have had sex with one of the Senators, the insurance lobbyists sneak in and beat up Dennis Kucinich with a chair.
Oh, you kids. NOW you’ve gotten into the spirit of the thread.
As your reward, please allow me to present arguably the most insane wrestler ever doing one of his most insane rasslin’ promos. Proof that ‘roids can rot your brain:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALNtMq7sD4I&NR=1
Cripe! If I should ever run for office, I’d hate to see how my bartending career through college will affect me. I mean, people more-than-likely got drunk off of my work and some of those probably went home and had sex and some of those were, undoubtedly gay sex, considering a few of my regulars were gay guys/gals.
Really, I hope that knocking his being electable due to his wrasslin’ was sarcasm-based humor. Get him for his track record (he represented Schaeffer that time, but he also happened to represent Korn when suing the County) if you see fit. As far as wRonG’s column, keep in mind that lawsuit against the County, while it was after Gordon was done, had Gordon’s administration all over it and was anything but complimentary about Gordon. When that happens, what does Williams regularly do? Produce a column tearing down whomever dare tarnish his bud’s image. As far as “The Honorable” goes, I honestly don’t know much about him beyond what’s been in the press over the years.
Ooof…OK, maybe it was meant for sarcastic humor (seeing ‘bulo’s comment just above).
RSmitty goes for the flying leap from the top turnbuckle with a flying elbow drop…he MISSES and splatters blood everywhere! Um, Gene? How does he bleed from his eyeballs when his elbow hit the mat? Save it! This is wrasslin’ damnit! Suddenly a chair comes flying in and crashes into hi…
I think Linda McMahon in the Senate would be a good thing. Instead of rowdy town hall forums, she could introduce tables, ladders and chairs matches. She could have an introduction like the Undertaker. She could wrap up the military vote in Connecticut by getting John Cena to stump for her and just have Triple H wipe out her opponents with the DDT. Her election night party would be shown, of course, on pay-per-view.
And if you’re not down with that I’ve got just two words for ya…
My take on Linda McMahon is here:
http://rhymeswithright.mu.nu/archives/292424.php
I’ll save you all the time of visiting Online Cialis HQ: RWR’s not a wrasslin’ fan (teh sleaze), and thinks Linda’s too moderate for reasons noted in comments above. Best line is where he compares her to Ah-nuld, which is quite apt.
In other news, Delaware Liberal condemned dancers as suggestive. I thought the post on the wrestling was just a muse until I just read the comments. Is this some sort of joke? The last time I checked there was nothing wrong or questionable about it as entertainment.
I hope you guys come down here and manage the Democrat campaigns. The people will be enraptured with your take on the important nuances you bring up.
Wow, David Anderson’s telling me there’s nothing questionable about wrestling as entertainment. I’m betting that (unfortunately) I saw the Katie Vick necrophilia debacle and he didn’t, not to mention the utter disaster that was Al Wilson. I’d love to hear David’s take on the Chuck Palumbo / Billy Gunn wedding plotline.
Since you’ve missed the point anyway, David, I’ll explain: Wrestling can be rather salacious, which makes it very amusing to us when people involved in the wrestling business run for the “family values” GOP ticket. But by no means do we think involvement with wrestling alone should disqualify anyone for office.
There’s also the possibility of hilarious videos and pictures of the candidate.
The DCW supports Volunteer Fire Companies and Little League Baseball. I’ve been to a couple of DCW shows with my kids and they loved it. It’s fun.
Wrestling is entertainment. It’s a scripted show just like the movies. An actor who plays a murderer in a movie isn’t a murderer in real life any more than Ron Poliquin would be bashing heads with a chair in Legislative Hall. He may bash some frivolous spending out of some legislation, though.