Russian GRU and GOP Prep for Dem Debates

Filed in Satire by on June 25, 2019

While the Democratic candidates are getting ready to try to distinguish themselves from an enormous field in tomorrow’s first debate, the Russian Intelligence Directorate (GRU) and the Republican National Committee will be preparing to unleash their coordinated opposition research and send out a stream of attacks on the candidates and policies.

RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel told NBC News in a statement that “Working hand in glove with the Russians, we’ll have the advantage of a fully equipped war room on two continents and rapid response teams posing as engaged Americans.”

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Jason330 is a deep cover double agent working for the GOP. Don't tell anybody.

Comments (4)

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  1. Alby says:

    I would like to take a moment to point out that having debates is an incredibly pointless exercise. There is literally nothing about a debate that has any resemblance at all to what a president actually does in the job.

    Imagine applying for a job and instead of being interviewed individually, each candidate has to debate the other candidates for the position. Pretty stupid, isn’t it?

    • jason330 says:

      And this year, when the nominee is decided, there will be an especially pointless Presidential debate, as there are no persuadable voters.

      Everyone is already locked in as either anti- or pro-Trump.

  2. donviti says:

    Collectively, we don’t want to admit it, but we all want to see what Biden says…

  3. Alby says:

    Once upon a time debates were real, but at this point they’re just media-run ratings boosters that serve no legitimate political purpose. It’s like those game shows where you have to complete some silly task that can’t win you the game but can eliminate you.