Dorian Gray brings the funny
Deep Thought
FYI: Minnesota still doesn’t have a Senator
QOD
Anatomy of an Interview
(updated with handshake story link)
Around 2pm yesterday I headed for the closet and pulled out my white shirt. Reached for the ironing board and the iron. Domsqyuishy was laying in his play pen wide awake. “Ok buddy, Daddy’s got to get ready for tomorrow” and with little to do I might as well iron my shirt that didn’t need ironing. I got my green Izod tie, belt, blue knee socks and belt after I completed the ironing.
Every time I iron my shirts I always think back to my boot camp days in Great Lakes, Il. As I iron my shirt I always remember scratching for some cash in the barracks. I was asked by a guy if I would iron his shirt, he didn’t want to. I did mine well and that’s how things work in the military. You see, ironing shirts back then and for the Navy is/was a pain in the ass. You aren’t just ironing cotton that fucking wrinkles the second you take it out of the dryer, in boot camp you were ironing out wrinkles from shirts that never were completely dried when they were taken out of the industrial sized dryers. Once removed they are thrown into bags and sat there for hours until they are lugged over to the barracks where you have to sift through mounds of clean clothes to find your stuff. Once you found your stuff it was like trying to iron out the creases in a balled piece of printer paper. The fabric was awful and you didn’t just iron the the wrinkles, you had to put 5 creases on the shirt. 2 over the front, directly down the middle of the pockets and 3 on your back. One down the center and 2 center to the left and right of the center crease.
The shirts had the shit starched out of them. You’d go threw a quarter of a can to get it right, but you didn’t just use the heavy starch. You also used speed stick. That’s right, byyyyyyy Mennon! For whatever reason the speed stick would make razor sharp creases. The idea was to make the creases so sharp that when you tucked your shirt in it looked like a piece of thick paper with a fold in it. It was not easy to do and it came at a price. You had to look perfection for inspection and not having creases in your dungarees was not an option. You even had to have them in your pants. It was awful and ridiculous and soooo typical of the military.