Satire

Fox News Lawyers Hint at Defense – It Was Satire 

Filed in Satire by on April 17, 2023 4 Comments

AP (Wilmington DE)  – Fox News appears to be hinting at a possible defense strategy in response to the Dominion voting lawsuit opening this week, according to sources within the Wilmington legal community. The embattled news network is reportedly planning to argue that no reasonable person would take the commentary of hosts Sean Hannity, Tucker […]

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Delaware State Sportsman’s Association Statement on U.S. Capitol Police Preventing  Assault Rifle from Getting to Capitol Hill

Filed in Satire by on April 14, 2023 2 Comments

April 14, 2023 Press Release This morning the jack-booted thugs of the United States Capitol Police (USCP) trampled on our traditions and freedom as well as the Second Amendment  by stopping a so-called “assault rifle”, with an extended magazine, before it reached the Capitol. Just after 5:00 a.m, a lawless USCP screening team spotted the […]

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Delaware State Sportsmen’s Association  Statement on Louisville Mass Shooting

Filed in Satire by on April 11, 2023 7 Comments

DSSA – Delaware State Sportsmen’s Association PRESS ANNOUNCEMENT For Immediate Release Soon Delaware will stop falling behind other states in the race to have more and bloodier mass shootings.  Our efforts to overturn House Bill 450 which effectively and immediately bans a long list of commonly owned assault weapons and high capacity magazines will get Delaware […]

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Coons Gravely Concerned About Biden’s “MAGA Republicans” Comments

Filed in Coons, Satire by on August 26, 2022 0 Comments

Coons expressed disappointment and concern over Joe Biden’s use of the term ‘MAGA Republicans’ to disparage Republicans who contend that Donald Trump won the last Presidential election.

“I’m just not a fan of confrontational politics.” Coons stated on CNN’s Reliable Sources “I really think that if we continue to seek bipartisan compromise by assuming the fetal position and allowing our friends and colleagues on the other side of the isle to kick us repeatedly, they will soon become exhausted from kicking.”

Yeah this is satire. Barely. If Coons releases a statement, I trust you, dear reader, to let me know.

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Coons Agrees with GOP That 1/6 Commission Should Investigate ANTIFA?

Filed in National, Satire by on May 20, 2021 1 Comment
Coons Agrees with GOP That 1/6 Commission Should Investigate ANTIFA?

WASHINGTON – U.S. Senator Chris Coons (D-Del.) stated that “in the interest of balance” he would pursue a bipartisan commission to investigate the 1/6 attack on the Capitol and investigate the ANTIFA riots which gripped Washington last Summer.

“I agree with the Minority Leader. We have an opportunity to join with our good friends in the Republican Party and address the looting instigated by ANTIFA and other radical leftists.”

Coons didn’t actually say any of that. He does favor a bipartisan commission though, and Spokesperson for the Super Secret Bipartisan Caucus, Susan Collins, said the commission must investigate all domestic terrorism – so it isn’t exactly outlandish to think that this sort of statement is possible.

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Breaking: Delaware Division of Corporations Set To Expose Trump’s Delaware-Based Money Laundering Operations

Filed in Satire by on February 2, 2021 6 Comments
Breaking: Delaware Division of Corporations Set To Expose Trump’s Delaware-Based Money Laundering Operations

In a break with tradition, Delaware Division of Corporations is prepared to draw back the curtain of secrecy that has protected criminal operations through impenetrable webs of anonymous corporations. Division of Corporations Marketing Director, Cynthia Kane, announced the change in a press release early Tuesday.

“The State of Delaware is a leading domicile for U.S. and international corporations. More than 1,000,000 business entities have made Delaware their legal home. As such, we have a responsibility to root out criminal enterprises which threaten the system by bringing disrepute to the Division of Corporations and the entire State of Delaware”

According to sources within the Division Secretary of State, Jeffrey W. Bullock, is prepared to initiate sweeping changes in the agency’s secrecy policies by fully investigating whether Donald Trump’s web of Llcs and shell corporations have been laundering money for the regime of Russian President Vladimir Putin.

The secrecy of Delaware’s Division of Corporations has recently been brought to light by reporting on the Delaware Call.

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Russian GRU and GOP Prep for Dem Debates

Filed in Satire by on June 25, 2019 4 Comments
Russian GRU and GOP Prep for Dem Debates

While the Democratic candidates are getting ready to try to distinguish themselves from an enormous field in tomorrow’s first debate, the Russian Intelligence Directorate (GRU) and the Republican National Committee will be preparing to unleash their coordinated opposition research and send out a stream of attacks on the candidates and policies. RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel […]

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Breaking: Mike Pence Wrote the New York Times Editorial

Filed in Satire by on September 5, 2018 20 Comments
Breaking: Mike Pence Wrote the New York Times Editorial

Several days ago Vice President Mike Pence used an intermediary to contact New York Times op-ed page editor Jim Dao.

Through the go-between, Mike Pence expressed interest in writing an explosive piece for the paper, describing a “resistance” to President Trump within the government that works overtime to protect the United States from the president’s worst impulses.

The result, published on the New York Times’ website on Wednesday, prompted speculation all across Washington about who the official is until it became obvious to everyone that it was Mike Pence.

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